Seychelles

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• Lovers in Luxury - Maldives
• Feet first into the Maldives - Maldives
• No news, No shoes - Maldives
• My wedding pact with David Walliams - Maldives
• Push the boat out - Seychelles
• Relaxation Addict - Seychelles
• Mauritius the Delicious - Mauritius
• Mr Perma-Tan in Paradise - Mauritius
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• Island Iffy No Longer - Sri Lanka
• Having a swell time! - Seychelles
• Perfect, even for the world’s pickiest guest! - Maldives
• Do not disturb - Mauritius
• My tantrum in paradise - Mauritius
• Calendar girl makes a date - Maldives
• Lipstick and high heels not required - Maldives
• The five-star survivor! - Mauritius
• Strictly Unwinding - Maldives
• Why should paradise be only for lovers? - Maldives
• Strictly recharging - Maldives
• Busy doing nothing - Maldives
• Sweet perfection - Mauritius
• Something special about the Seychelles - Seychelles

AFTER the saddle soreness of ten days’ cattle driving in Utah, frostbite during a dog-sledding adventure in Norway and having our passports stolen during a cigar tour of Cuba, my wife Sophie decided that, this year, SHE would choose where we would holiday. ‘I want a tropical paradise,’ she said. ‘I want to go to the Seychelles.’ ‘With two young children!’ I cried, ‘Long haul! In that heat! Are you mad?’

But I could see my protests were falling on deaf ears - because I was in for a wonderful surprise when I got there. It would seem my trip to Memphis for the tractor convention would just have to wait. The Seychelles are 115 islands scattered over 155,000 square miles of turquoise Indian Ocean, just beneath the Equator.

They have been blessed with some of the most beautiful beaches in the world, many as untouched as when Vasco de Gama first travelled here more than 500 years ago. The islands are a haven for flora and fauna, with six National Marine Parks; a further 40 per cent of the land is protected as National Parks. The Four Seasons Resort opened fairly recently.

It's blessed with some of the most beautiful beaches in the world

Situated in Bale Lazare on the South Western point of Mahe, it’s a breathtaking feat of engineering. Its 67 villas cling on to the steep jungle hillside - offering extraordinary views of Petite Anse beach, one of the most beautiful in the Seychelles. The resort is laid out like a village, and you get around in a golf buggy. We stayed in a villa suite which, with its own sun deck, swimming pool, kitchen and living room, as well as two large bedrooms, was the nicest hotel room I have ever stayed in.

Any article you have ever read about tropical islands was probably accompanied by a picture of a beach and, chances are, that beach is in the Seychelles. The beach at Petite Anse is spectacular - craggy volcanic cliff to one side and a perfect arc of azure warm sea to the other.

Our golfcart driver told us the sand was so soft you wouldn’t feel it in your eyes - Kit, our eight-month old son, soon disproved that myth. If lazing about on the beach is too energetic for you, you can always check out the spa.

Situated at the top of the hill, the view from the spa of Petite Anse is truly impressive. Comprising a series of seven glass-fronted pavilions, all linked by an extensive space exclusively for yoga, it includes eight treatment rooms, steam rooms, rain showers and outside relaxation tubs.

There are guided tours through the nature reserve

The setting is secluded and designed to restore mind and spirit. Many of the treatments incorporate island herbs and spices such as frangipani and lemongrass, combined in accordance with ancient recipes. Treatments include massages, body scrubs and wraps, facials and hydrotherapy baths.

One of the signature treatments is ‘Shell Serenity’ - where warm, heated sea shells, filled with sea minerals, dried sea kelp and algae, are pressed along the muscles to release knots and tension, increase circulation and alleviate stress. The yoga, though, wasn’t for me. I realised this when our instructor encouraged us to adopt the sirsasana position, which as far as I could tell involved standing on your head with your legs doing the splits. He told me it would aid purification of the body and lead to purification of the mind. I decided it would do me more harm than good.

The resort has two restaurants, Zez and beach-side Kannel. One thing we didn’t try was the curried bat. Whether in a curry or on the wing there are plenty of fruit bats at the resort - like mini Pterodactyls. Outside the resort in the capital, Victoria, Marie Antoinette serves excellent creole with a fixed menu.

They also have tortoises the size of VWs - not on the menu, you understand, but in the garden which are a big hit with the kids. The Seychelles are home to the oldest tortoise in the world, Esmeralda, who is 200 years old.

It transpires she is, in fact, a he, but I guess at 200 years old, gender confusion is not an issue. The hotel offers excursions to the outer islands - often these involve further trips on to Mogadishu, staying in a pirate cargo container on the East African coast. The Seychelles have a pirate tradition and there is a whiff of buried treasure hereabouts.

Some 280 years ago, Frenchman Olivier Le Vasseur launched a daring raid on a crippled ship, weighed down with pearls, silver, diamonds and silk. He was captured and hanged in 1730, but just before he died, he flung a scrap of paper into the air with cryptic clues as to where the treasure was buried. It’s never been found, and everywhere I went, I kept a keen eye out for half-buried doubloons. Diving is popular. Nearby dive sites include the wonderfully named Alice in Wonderland, Shark Point (no thanks) and Jailhouse Rock.

One day, Sophie and I took out a kayak, paddled along the coast and discovered a gem of a beach cafe which turned out to offer the island’s coldest Seybrew (the Seychelles’ fine local lager). There are also guided tours through the nature reserve where, if you’re lucky, you might spot a Lesser Black Noddy (no, not an Enid Blyton creation but a doughty sea bird).

The tortoises are a big hit with the kids

Our guide told us that during their elaborate courtship ritual, the male Noddy offers his mate a selection of leaves until he presents one to her satisfaction. She then indicates her approval by using it as a loo. Charming. I was pretty convinced that something had been lost in translation, but this strange ritual proves to be totally authentic. There was enough here for an entire David Attenborough series.

When he heard where we were going, a friend quite mistakenly dismissed the Seychelles as ‘beautiful but boring’. It was, he said, ‘a bit like going on a date with Claudia Schiffer and discovering that all she wants to do is watch back-to-back episodes of BBC’s One Show on SkyPlus’. How wrong could he be, even without trying the curried bat.